Disaster movies can be entertaining even when ludicrous. Geostorm, on the other hand, is just plain disastrous.
In order to save humanity, 17 nations grouped together in 2019 to create an omnipotent weather-controlling system. Nicknamed “Dutch Boy,” the satellite-based system is able to neutralise even the most disastrous natural calamities. Vice versa, it is also capable of wiping out entire cities with sudden, extreme weather changes. This inevitably leads to an insidious conspiracy to weaponise the system for political gain. A conspiracy involving the people who created the system in the first place.
Yes, yes. I know I’m being very harsh, and sarcastic, with my opening statement. But that’s truly how I feel about this garbled mix of second-rate CGI, sibling drama, and political commentary.
It’s like, yeah, there are the requisite destruction scenes, But none are noteworthy, or for that matter, impressively realistic. (Some parts feel downright amateurish, to be honest)
There are also various degrees of human drama, framed by the cool concept of splitting the action between space and earth. The problem though, there are just too many things going on. Geostorm never does decide whether it wants to be space action, political/spy thriller, family drama, or, as its title goes, a disaster movie.
The end result is that you just can’t feel much for anything, simply because the direction keeps switching.
On top of which are these issues:
- Disaster movies are typically nonsensical or implausible, but they still affect us because of distressing sub-stories involving secondary characters. You know, things like the family dog getting gutted. That nice old lady next door having her head whipped off. The school bus of kids swallowed hold by Mr. Outer Space, while howling, etc. Geostorm is way too “clean” about these, let me put it that way. By clean, I mean non-existent.
- Gerard Butler is the lead. This is like, the man who can survive 300 meteor strikes without a scratch. A SINGLE SCRATCH. Unfair as it is for me to say, I think the very sight of him instils the idea that everything is going to turn out a-okay. (Admittedly, I ought to know before watching)
- I could be reading too deeply into this. The movie tries too hard to be some sort of a commentary about ongoing American politics. I don’t know whether it’s a left or right thing, or a conservative versus liberal debate. It just feels like a cheap shot overall. Doesn’t add to the depth of the story. Certainly doesn’t encourage reflection about issues too.
Short of it, this is one mess of a story that really deserves to be blown away ASAP.
Click here to view the trailer.
Check out my other snappy movie reviews.