A taste of how Stormtroopers feel like, thanks to an IPL treatment session.
After sitting on it for months, I’ve finally decided to get a skin treatment done and over with.
It’s for a condition known as Telangiectasia. Nope, this is not some creepy-crawly infection that makes me resemble the living dead. It’s mostly benign, albeit terribly unsightly, and is characterised by red blotches and markings on the skin. You’d probably know it better by its common name. Spider veins.
Yeah. I have spider veins on my upper arms and chest. Though mine don’t exactly resemble veins or spiders. They look more like … … Oh never mind.
Anyway, the procedure recommended by the dermatologist was Intense Pulsed Light, or IPL treatment. How IPL works is that it penetrates the skin to heat and destroy the underlying dilated blood vessels, these being the culprits for the redness and what-have-you. (I could be describing this terribly) Within weeks, the overheated and decimated blood vessels would be reabsorbed by the body, resulting in voila! Baby skin! Well, maybe not exactly baby skin. But at least decent, un-sickly looking skin. More or less comfortable on the eye.
Yeah … Decent looking skin. Comfortable on the eye.
Oh, I ought to mention IPL doesn’t cost as much as I expected it to. It’s no tiny sum either, to be honest. But it’s far from the bank breaking procedure I thought it would be.
And oh, one more thing. It hurts. Yes! Light CAN hurt.
I mean, I know IPL hurts after researching about it online. Based on what I’ve read, though, I thought it would be no more than a mild, tingly sensation. It’s nowhere near mild, believe me. In fact, I think some websites described it quite accurately by likening the sensation to being snapped by a rubber band. Someone’s very taut, very thick rubber band. Given a cooling gel was applied during the procedure, and the treated area itself was smeared with an anesthesia cream for an hour beforehand, I can only assume the actual discomfort is far more intense. Overall, while everything was not totally unbearable, I find a blood test far worse, it was no breezy walk in the park too. I would have yelped like a puppy, had my doctor not stoically count-downed before each “blast.”
Or shots. He calls it shots. Most literature describes the procedure as a series of shots too. More shots are obviously required for more severe conditions.
Here’s the thing. The mind thinks of the most ridiculous things during trauma, doesn’t it? Here’s what I thought of. Stormtroopers. Or more specifically, poor Stormtroopers getting blasted.
The weakest blaster shot in Star Wars is probably like, a hundred times stronger than an IPL shot. Dear Lord! Even if the burn from that doesn’t kill outright, the shock would be more than enough to put any Stormtrooper into agonising cardiac arrest. Really gives me a new perspective about these foot soldiers of the Empire, after having but a one per cent taste of their suffering today. For the first time in my life, I actually detest those nasty rebel scums. Why do they have to hurt hapless Stormtroopers this way? Why can’t they just leave Stormtroopers alone?!?!
W…wait a sec. Stormtroopers use blasters too, don’t they? Set to maximum power and to kill. And they wouldn’t be shot so often had they not been … trying to kill rebels. Hmm. Maybe the IPL treatment today burned more than me unsightly spider veins. Obviously, it left a mark on my sanity too.