Someone seriously needs to stake or bullet every immortal in Underworld: Blood Wars. That way, we can be spared another sequel.
Underworld: Blood Wars Synopsis
Pursued by both Vampires and Lycans, and double-crossed by Semira of the Eastern Coven, Selene turns to the Nordic Coven for refuge. Together with Vidar, the Elder of the Nords, and Vidar’s daughter Lena, Selene then repels a brutal invasion by the Eastern Coven. In the process, she discovers the tragic fate of her missing Lycan-Vampire hybrid lover, Michael.
Snappy Review
I made a mistake. Before watching Underworld: Blood Wars, I didn’t revisit the synopses on Wikipedia.
This mistake doomed me. Confounded me for two hours straight too; I kid not. For whatever reason, the producers deemed it fine to keep referencing characters and events from the previous movies, including those given minimal screen time in the first movie thirteen years ago.
Yes, I know it’s an Underworld tradition for storylines to immediately continue from the preceding episode. But with the last movie released near five years ago, surely viewers could not be expected to remember all convoluted sub-plots and twists as if yesterday?
It doesn’t help too that flashback scenes are no more than bewildering montages and fast cuts. Without fail, these were all frenetic slideshows peppered with names of long-deceased and forgotten characters.
On top of which is the fact that there is truly no more story to tell, just half an hour of watching Underworld: Blood Wars will thoroughly convince you of this. The conflict ended long ago in Underworld: Evolution (2006) with the slaying of every major antagonist. All three sequels that followed were but tenuous efforts to milk the franchise further.
Arguably, there was some promise with Underworld: Awakening (2012), with the inclusion of the human world into the conflict. Inexplicably, though, there was scant reference to humans in this new episode. Once more, it’s back to sexy vampires against feral lycans.
Seriously, someone needs to stake or silver bullet every one of these undeads. The story is long dead. Please, for crying out loud, stay dead!
Click here to view the trailer.
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